Thanks for participating in my book tour.

Catalina makes some very good points about labeling and judging. We are judged every day and even though we profess it to be a bad thing, we all do our own fair amount of judging without even realizing it. As a parent I have found that communication is the key to protecting our children from all the things we may not really like. I have a good relationship with my teenager and he has consistantly come to me to discuss things. I may blush a bit at times, but we still discuss it openly, including both pros and cons, and then I let him make an informative decision. It helps both of us to grow up a little. As far as a group of kids being labeled as a good group of kids, I have found that often times that statement is in direct proportion to how popular the parents are. It doesn't actually assess anything about the kids. If my son wants to hang out with some kids, we invite them over and get to know them. I was once told a certain kid wouldn't eat anything that I hadn't went and bought from a fast food place. I shrugged and said, "He'll like my food." I made some homemade alfredo; and, while he sniffed it with caution, he tasted it, and downed the whole plate. Sometimes the wrong reputation follows us. Of course I can give you an example of the opposite as well. I know a man who has a sterling military career, has helped fellow comrades on numerous occassions and sat in front of psychologist who have given him glowing reports. This man is an abusive husband and father, playing mental games that leave minds in mush so he can control them. Just because the cover of a book looks good doesn't mean the content of the book will be as good and vice versa. A little caution is not a bad thing to practice.

I enjoyed your post very much, Catalina :)You make some excellent points! :)

This is a very complicated theme. I, like so many, hate to judge. For me judging goes beyond labeling; when you judge you assume the position of the one above, the one who knows better, who has the right answers. I have very strong opinions and they have served me well when helping me travel through my late, but I don't think my answers are the only ones. What I try to teach my kids is that there may be many ways to go about life but these set of parameters worked for my parents when educating me, and I'm planning to enforced them in my house.

Like my father used to tell me, life in a family is not a democracy, its a tyranny and today I'm the one to impose what's right and wrong FOR MY KIDS. Outside they will use, hopefully, those weapons to make their own decisions. I don't want them striking a close friendship with a boy/girl that experiments with drugs, but more than using a label to call her, I try to develop in them interests that are clearly incompatible with that lifestyle.

About violent videogames, movies that I don't want them to see, or even cartoons, there's no way of explaining to them why I'm making different decisions than other parents. It's impossible, and even unhealthy, to select their friendships to only those who will share everyone of my points of view. Instead I try to explain and when that fails, because it always fails, I simply say: "Because I worry for you, I love you, and today I make this decisions for you. When you have your own house you will do what you think is best." That answer never fairs well, I remember my father saying the same to me, but eventually we grow and understand.

The worst thing about judging is that we may think that by doing so we're guiding our kids, but not only we are teaching them to be intolerant, but they assume that if we judge others we can very well judge them and the communication becomes even more difficult.

This is really a good conversation point, as not being a mother and as a person that grew up with tremendous laws and acts prohibiting everything from the spoken, written word etc I grew up hating sensor ship. But you are right, with "Grownups" describing a bondage book as a love story, where do we go from here?